something awesome

I'll most likely have somethings old, new, borrowed and blue on my wedding day, but right now I want to tell you about my something awesome.

You may remember that I have an non-traditional engagement ring: it doesn't have a solitaire setting, and the small diamonds wrap all the way around to make a branch-like shape. I love my modest ring. It is beautiful and perfectly reflects who and where were are in life, right now. However, I did not choose a modest ring because I am not into diamonds. Au contraire, baby! The more and the better jewelry, the awesomer, I say!

I was super psyched when my parents came up to visit me in May, and my mom brought her jewelry box (excuse me, she brought her travel jewelry box -- shouldn't we all have such a thing?). She explained to me that she had "found" a few diamonds, and would like to have a necklace made for me for my wedding day, which would consist of two diamonds from earrings she no longer wears, and three diamonds from my grandmother's engagement ring. Yes, please! I was so excited, and so touched.

Well.

If I thought I was excited then, it was nothing compared to when I saw my folks last week, and they whipped out a green velvet box at breakfast. The necklace was breathtaking. It hangs as a pendant on a lovely (and sturdy) gold chain. The large diamond from the engagement ring is set below the three smaller diamonds which are in an off-kilter setting that reminds me of twinkling stars. Also, as my mom pointed out, they refer subtly to my engagement ring.

You can bet your boots that I was wearing diamonds at that particular pancake breakfast!

On December 12th, I will be doubling up the diamond necklace, wearing it with an heirloom set of pearls, which were adjusted by my parents' jeweler to hang just so above the diamonds.

(I hate that I can't show you a picture of the necklace yet. Every time I turn my camera on lately, it has been making frantic beeping sounds while blinking all its lights. Hopefully, I'll get that fixed soon!)

This must cause Cancer. But.....

I have a particular product that I need everyone to know about, but I hesitate to write this post. Well, I did hesitate, and then I was like "eh, whatever" and forged boldly ahead.

What is this product? Neulash is, according to their website, "active eyelash technology," which is beauty marketing speak for "OMG totally awesome eyelash stuff that makes those mothers grow!"

Why did I pause? Because it comes in a tube the size of a mascara, and it costs like $150. I say "like $150," because although their extensive FAQ section discusses the use of Neulash among those of the male gender, lactating mothers and concerned contacts-wearers, it does not actually -- so far as I can deduce -- discuss how much it costs.

I know, because my friend Melissa scored a tube for free, used it for three months before her wedding, witnessed a miracle, and passed it along to me. She reported to me that it costs $150. And, of course, I would never condone sharing eye makeup except in instances of serious bridal vanity desperation.

Melissa's eyelashes were mesmerizing. I mean, I she could have blinked near me and brushed my hair at the same time. She could have dusted lampshades with these things, it was amazing! I am not shilling for Neulash, as everything about it does seem a little creepy to me, but I am simply here to let you know that if you
a) have $150 to blow on seriously gorgeous eyelashes
or
b) have a friend in the beauty biz
you need to score some of this stuff.

I have been using Neulash for about four weeks, and started to notice a difference a few days ago. I plan to keep using it til my wedding, and pray I don't get pink eye. Of course, you can also get extensions, and spend a lot less money, but how fun to see your own lashes grow day by day before your very eyes!

These are before and after photos from the website, which are not even as impressive as Melissa's.

What crazy beauty stuff have you tried under the influence of bride brain?

I think I made a mistake

I picked up my dress from Jenny Yoo yesterday. They don't do alterations, so I had to go to an outside tailor. A friend of mine who works in fashion recommended Joseph Ting at Dynasty Custom Tailors, which is just a few blocks from Jenny Yoo. Joseph and Dynasty were also recommended by New York magazine's wedding guide, a source that I trust because it caters to rich people, and rich people don't play when it comes to their wedding stuff.

Anyhow, even though my wedding is not til December, I was excited to pick up my dress, and I didn't want to schlep it all the way home on the subway, and then back to Joseph again on the subway at some later date. I said, "let's do it now!"

I put the dress on and loved it even more than I did before. It seemed a little big though, which I was psyched about since I lost 5 pounds. But then I remembered that I want to lose 5 more, and the wedding isn't for four months, and Joseph isn't going to require multiple fittings. I was thinking that after this, that would be it. I would take it home and store it in my in-laws' closet until December.

Now I am thinking: do I have to stay the exact weight I am for the next four months so the dress fits? It is strapless, so I really can't fool around and risk it falling off. The sample I tried in the store really fit quite well, so these alterations are not an elaborate multi-fitting process. Joseph is just shortening it, and nipping it in around the torso for a snugger fit, and that's that.

I'm a little nervous. My wonderful friend Amy, who came with me, says, "Don't worry about it, if we need to go back in November, we go back in November. No big deal."

So I guess I just won't worry. Joseph will still be there (and he works fast; this is supposed to be done in a week) and I can go back if I have to. I just feel like I planned badly, and I hate that! Usually, I am a good planner. Rats!

Make Me Up

I saw this article in the Times last week about Laura Luke, the Youtube makeup tutorial phenomenon. I had never heard of her before, but spent some time today watching a Twilight-inspired (yes!) makeup tutorial. Her accent is cute, her work is good, and she saved a little time at the end to show off her dogs. I can relate to that!
I am still going back and forth on whether I am going to hire someone to do my makeup. My friend M. had her photographer friendor also do her makeup (talk about multi-tasking!), and the photographer/makeup artist had learned everything she knows on Youtube! I am thinking maybe I can study up for the next four months and do some totally awesome, perhaps Twilight-inspired makeup for my wedding day. I really like the idea of doing it myself rather than hiring someone, if I can do a good job.

As a sidenote, my same friend M. works in women's media and gets tons of free stuff. I had dinner with her (+ another friend and the friendor photographer/makeup artist) the other night, and she brought us each a tube of lipstick. I felt like it was some kind of bizarre Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment, because each of us chose one that looked fantastic on us. I myself got Estee Lauder's #67 Plum Amethyst, and I have to say: I think I found my wedding lipstick! Thanks, M.!

lift 'em up, push 'em together!

I got a call last week that my dress is in! Last week, I know, I know. I can't believe it's just sitting there. But I had two important things to do before I could go pick it up. First, I had to find a tailor, which I have done. Second, I had to get my undergarments.

I am a big fan of What Not to Wear, and it was there that I first heard of the wonders of getting professionally fitted for a bra. I really hate bra shopping, and I always feel like I am buying the wrong thing, so I was psyched to learn that there are ladies out there who are experts at making my ladies look good.

In New York City, there are a few places you can go. WNTW used Linda the Bra Lady, who I have heard terrific things about. Online research led me to Bra*Tenders, however. Bra*Tenders is located near Times Square and the Theater District, and it is the go-to place for theater people. (Miss Star, am I right?) They got great reviews on Yelp.com, as well as on the wedding blogs.

You have to make an appointment, and they take your credit card over the phone. If you miss your appointment without calling to cancel, they charge you. Yikes! But the appointment system, as well as their commitment to it, really makes the experience and service top-notch.

Bra*Tenders isn't a storefront, it is on the 6th floor of an office building with a totally amazing Art Deco interior. I was buzzed in, and because I was early, superfriendly Crystal offered me candy and a magazine, and the chance to go to the bathroom (a girl after my own heart!). When she was ready for me, we went together into a dressing room that was about the size of a small New York City bedroom (kidding, sort of...). I brought a picture of me in my wedding dress, in which I was feeling a little droopy, to say the least.

She had me take off my shirt, and I said, "I'd like to lift 'em up. I want a little something going on, but not too va-va-voom."

"Yes," she said, "and we'll push them together, because you're hanging to the side." And then she pushed them together.

OK, then!

We decided on my size. I have always bought 34B, but recently started experimenting with 32C. Turns out I am a 32C. Hey, that's why straps always fall off my shoulder! Already, Bra*Tenders was worth it. She determined my size by trying a 32C bra that was absolutely lovely and made me look goooooood. I glanced at the price tag. Oh, this is what a $120 bra does for you!

Because the sweetheart neckline and the back of the dress dip low, she said I would need a bustier longline bra. She brought it in, and then asked me if I would consider wearing Spanx. I was hoping to not wear Spanx, but I decided to put myself in the hands of the expert. "Well, we can try it, I guess...." I said.

Then she told me that the longline bra would cause all my stuff to smoosh out the bottom and make a gross muffin top at my hips. By all means then, bring on the Spanx!

Putting them on was unpleasant, because I hate the feeling of squeezing my thighs and behind into something tight. But once it was on, it was all good. The bustier was lovely and arranged everything just so. Crystal was right, everything was totally smooth across my hips. By this point, I was totally used to the Spanx and planning what outfits I would wear them with.

I was so excited by how great Crystal was making me look that I allowed her to upsell me. Usually I buy my bras from Calvin Klein at Macy's on sale. I told her this, and she didn't have any good Calvin Klein for me, but she had some other plain-looking but totally flattering nude colored bra for $44. I said, "I'll take it!"

I should note that I didn't feel any pressure whatsoever to buy. Crystal was really kind and made me feel good and comfortable. Bra*Tenders is the kind of place that really caters to women of all shapes and sizes, and helps you feel good about yourself. Work with what you got, I say! (This is also the idea behind WNTW, I might add.)

They had a lot of camisoles that were autographed by famous people, and I was glad to see one from Gloria Steinem that said something like, "Thanks for making a great space for women." I felt just the same way.

The bill was $200, for the spanx, longline, and regular bra. The consultation, which was at least 30-40 minutes, does not cost extra. I love good customer service, and I totally got it at Bra*Tenders.

Now I am superpsyched to do my dress fitting! I am also superpsyched that I am getting married in the winter, because although Crystal was wearing Spanx, I just don't know about that during the summer.

How did you go about buying under-the-dress-wear? Did you wing it on your own, do internet research or have a consultation at a store?

It is Wednesday, so I am drinking water.

Here and there, Bees have posted about their bridal weight-loss strategies. From bridal boot camp, to cleanses, to Miss Lab's mind-blowing weight training how-to, there are all sorts of approaches a girl can take.

I would just like to weigh in (har har) myself: I don't really plan to diet for my wedding, for two reasons:

1) I am worried that if I lost a lot of weight for the wedding, when I gain it back, people will look at my pictures and be like, "Oh, you were so skinny. Then."
2) In 2004 I lost about 15 pounds through a combination of serious (and unhealthy) calorie restriction, getting a dog and walking a lot, not going out as much because I was all-consumed with grad school. I lost the weight in four months, and it did take about 2 years to gain it back, but gain it back I did. And the feeling was crappy.

I know why I lost weight, and I know that the calorie-restriction was not sustainable. I feel like if I were to diet for my wedding, I would probably choose a method that was not sustainable, and then feel like crap when the pounds creep back on.

However, I would like to take off a few before the wedding. And I would definitely like to at least not put on any more! Between turning 30 (serious metabolism shift) and co-habitating with someone who loves pizza and ice cream, I am at my highest weight ever right now. I'd like to get get back to what I consider my regular, ok, maintainable weight. Not my skinny weight.

So this is my strategy:

1) No more drinking on any night but Friday and Saturday. This is a tough one for me. And it also forces me to give some thought to my feelings about alcohol. Today, for instance, I had a day at work that I would describe as "banana splits," meaning it was totally bananas. I really wanted a glass of wine. But no! No drinking on weeknights is occasionally difficult, but something that I largely feel the benefits of, and not just calorically (is that a word?). I can definitely maintain this after the wedding.

2) I started a new fulltime job. In grad school, I worked in the morning and studied in the afternon. That means a lot of sitting around! Now, I work full time and chose to use the printer that is 20 feet away. I am up and about every few minutes and I think it is really good for me.

3) I am trying to be more mindful when I eat. G. and I both tend to wolf down our food. I am alarmed how often we eat our dinners in less than 10 minutes. Lately, I have been trying to cut smaller bites and eat slowly. This makes me feel more like a lady, too!

Believe it or not, these things have actually done well for me. I have lost about 5 lbs and am feeling good. Considering they're not huge steps, I think 5 lbs is quite respectable.

Is anyone out there making small changes that are probably better for you overall?

Gonna make you up in my love! (Or in Bobbi Brown, whichever)

I've mentioned before that for better or for worse, I am pretty decisive. My fiance has definitely developed a system he uses to see whether my latest impassioned proclamation is something I conjured up 5 minutes ago or 5 months ago.

However, one thing I am really going back and forth on is what to do about my makeup. Part of my indecision relates to budget: can I afford it? Do I care? Should I do it because it's "my day?" Should I be more conscious of sending my budget out the door because it's "my day?"

Here's the deal: I am pretty okay at doing my own hair, but it is definitely a crapshoot how it will look on any given day, and "crapshoot" is not what I am (ahem) shooting for on my wedding day. So I am hiring the girl who usually cuts my hair to do it.*

I feel even more confident with my makeup than I do with my hair. When I spend the time, I really can do my makeup pretty well. I know that I can get myself through the day without looking like either Tilda Swinton (love her! but she could use a little mascara!) or Tammy Faye (may she rest in peace).

But that is in a day-to-day going to work sense. In terms of "event" makeup, I am not so sure. I know I can apply my eyeliner with a steady hand, but do I know which is the perfect eyeliner to use? Can I keep my skin from being shiny? (Becoming shiny is my skin's life's work.) I feel like even though I can do it, maybe I should find someone who can do it better.

On the other hand, another argument on the side of doing it myself is that I know what I want, and it's not that complex. I have two inspiration photos and that's it:

Don't mind the lady in the lingerie. I don't plan on vamping it up. But I do like the swoopy black eyeliner and strong lip (I will be having a pink color though, not red). I supposed it is a classic 50s style that I am going for, kinda Marilyn. (I know, I know, who doesn't want to look "kinda Marilyn" sometimes?)

I don't know. I have been studying up and bookmarking products that I want to use, but I wonder if maybe I should just give in and have someone do it for me. I didn't really budget for it and I don't really know if I can afford it. Did any of you go back and forth on the makeup issue? Does anyone have anything definitive to say to me about it?


*OK, she has only cut my hair once before, but she is really cute and nice and swears she won't make me look like a prom queen. I decided to hire her on the spot, of course!