money, I need more of you! (things to buy on the internet to make your wedding pretty)

My old friend Martha Stewart is kind enough to send me emails on occassion, because she would really like to help make my wedding look nice. Recently, she alerted me to some totally awesome online retailers who sell decorations for your wedding on the semi-cheap but totally drool-worthy.

Have you ever been to a store with six million brightly colored tee-shirts or sweaters all lined up together in every color of the rainbow? That kind of product display gets me every time. It makes me want. Then I can never pick a color, because it is all the sweaters or tee-shirts that I desire, not just one. And I want to wear them all at once.

Anyhow, Luna Bazaar's website is kind of like that. They have six million things on their homepage that look so wonderful all together that I start feverishly grasping for my purse while unable to unlock my eyes from the computer screen.

A sampling:

This is just a taste of what Luna Bazaar can do for you! What should I get? What are you getting? OMG!

something awesome

I'll most likely have somethings old, new, borrowed and blue on my wedding day, but right now I want to tell you about my something awesome.

You may remember that I have an non-traditional engagement ring: it doesn't have a solitaire setting, and the small diamonds wrap all the way around to make a branch-like shape. I love my modest ring. It is beautiful and perfectly reflects who and where were are in life, right now. However, I did not choose a modest ring because I am not into diamonds. Au contraire, baby! The more and the better jewelry, the awesomer, I say!

I was super psyched when my parents came up to visit me in May, and my mom brought her jewelry box (excuse me, she brought her travel jewelry box -- shouldn't we all have such a thing?). She explained to me that she had "found" a few diamonds, and would like to have a necklace made for me for my wedding day, which would consist of two diamonds from earrings she no longer wears, and three diamonds from my grandmother's engagement ring. Yes, please! I was so excited, and so touched.

Well.

If I thought I was excited then, it was nothing compared to when I saw my folks last week, and they whipped out a green velvet box at breakfast. The necklace was breathtaking. It hangs as a pendant on a lovely (and sturdy) gold chain. The large diamond from the engagement ring is set below the three smaller diamonds which are in an off-kilter setting that reminds me of twinkling stars. Also, as my mom pointed out, they refer subtly to my engagement ring.

You can bet your boots that I was wearing diamonds at that particular pancake breakfast!

On December 12th, I will be doubling up the diamond necklace, wearing it with an heirloom set of pearls, which were adjusted by my parents' jeweler to hang just so above the diamonds.

(I hate that I can't show you a picture of the necklace yet. Every time I turn my camera on lately, it has been making frantic beeping sounds while blinking all its lights. Hopefully, I'll get that fixed soon!)

Never Tear Us Apart

G. and I decided fairly easily on our first-dance song, which is Never Tear Us Apart by INXS. We made the decision by having me start to think about it long before we were engaged, developing a list, narrowing it down by myself, and finally delivering two options to him after we started planning the wedding. (The other song I considered was "No One" by Alicia Keys.)

We used the following criteria for selecting this particular song:
1) It is totally awesome, and has been so since 1987 when it came out.
2) It is part of the soundtrack of the very romantic movie Donnie Darko, which we both love.
3) It is has a hilarious and totally 80s saxophone solo in the middle. (I dream of performing "air saxophone" during our dance at the wedding!)

At any rate, despite the fact that the song was also played at Michael Hutchence's funeral in 1997, we thought it was a very romantic song, and let's admit it: a crowd pleaser. Everyone our age at the wedding is going to know and love this.

G. and I are not exactly shy, but we're not attention-seekers either. We won't be doing a surprise dance to "Baby Got Back" or anything of that nature. On the other hand, we want to avoid looking like our wedding is a 7th grade mixer, with three and a half minutes of us swaying back and forth.

Therefore, we asked my parents, who have done ballroom dancing for fifteen years, to choreograph a little something for us. Last week, we saw visited them for vacation, and we all had some wine and INXS in the living room. My parents worked out a ballroom medley for us, which mostly consists of a rumba box-step, with a dramatic tango lunge thrown in.

But the best part -- and the only thing that will prevent me from doing an air-sax solo -- is that my folks also included a Dirty Dancing move! I am sure that all women between the ages of 25 and 40 attending my wedding will immediately recognize Baby's fabulous head-roll during the sax solo! (She does it right in the beginning of the "Time of My Life" dance.)

Also like Baby -- when Johnny Castle runs his fingers along her armpit -- I had the giggles when we were practicing. G. was a good student, and neither of us had much trouble learning it, but I was a little embarrassed to do some corny stuff that my parents suggested, like lay my head on his chest during the tango lunge.

Also embarrassing: when my parents were suggesting some dirty tango moves that I was too prudish to seriously attempt in their company.

Hopefully my giggles and hesitancy will evaporate on the big day.

As shy as I am about it, I am exciting to have a choreographed dance that will hopefully be romantic and hold folks' attention. Even more so, I know my parents are super excited to be able to share their experience with us and really be able to contribute to this part of the wedding. Now all we have to do is practice.

This must cause Cancer. But.....

I have a particular product that I need everyone to know about, but I hesitate to write this post. Well, I did hesitate, and then I was like "eh, whatever" and forged boldly ahead.

What is this product? Neulash is, according to their website, "active eyelash technology," which is beauty marketing speak for "OMG totally awesome eyelash stuff that makes those mothers grow!"

Why did I pause? Because it comes in a tube the size of a mascara, and it costs like $150. I say "like $150," because although their extensive FAQ section discusses the use of Neulash among those of the male gender, lactating mothers and concerned contacts-wearers, it does not actually -- so far as I can deduce -- discuss how much it costs.

I know, because my friend Melissa scored a tube for free, used it for three months before her wedding, witnessed a miracle, and passed it along to me. She reported to me that it costs $150. And, of course, I would never condone sharing eye makeup except in instances of serious bridal vanity desperation.

Melissa's eyelashes were mesmerizing. I mean, I she could have blinked near me and brushed my hair at the same time. She could have dusted lampshades with these things, it was amazing! I am not shilling for Neulash, as everything about it does seem a little creepy to me, but I am simply here to let you know that if you
a) have $150 to blow on seriously gorgeous eyelashes
or
b) have a friend in the beauty biz
you need to score some of this stuff.

I have been using Neulash for about four weeks, and started to notice a difference a few days ago. I plan to keep using it til my wedding, and pray I don't get pink eye. Of course, you can also get extensions, and spend a lot less money, but how fun to see your own lashes grow day by day before your very eyes!

These are before and after photos from the website, which are not even as impressive as Melissa's.

What crazy beauty stuff have you tried under the influence of bride brain?

Yes, I AM buying this light-up garland!

I get overwhelmed by too many choices, and I sometimes have trouble getting focused. I love Michael's, but when I go there I don't know how to take all the wonderful things there and direct them into a great project for me.

I signed up for the Michael's email list yesterday, and got a 50% off coupon. (Have y'all signed up? Do it now!) I took it to Michael's and figured this might help me get some focus. I thought that I wouldn't look at stuff that was super cheap, because who cares about something being 50% off if it's already cheap? (So, no tiny packages of stickers or Swarovski crystals.) So, I was thinking: pricey craft tools, anything Martha, stuff like that. (Sorry, Martha, but you're always the upscale choice at any big-box store.)

Anyhow, I went through the Wedding section, which today was full of crappy tiaras and invitation-making kits. Then I came across it: the Wilton White Rose Bridal Garland. Admittedly, the

packaging is a little cheesy, but I feel like this 6-foot light up, battery operated garland has huge decorating potential at my wedding.

A few thoughts:

1.) Wound

around the cupcake stands

2.) Wound around the centerpiece at the head table

3.) Hung across the wide doorway I'll walk through on my way down the aisle

So many options! G. called while I was at Michael's, and I was like, "White rose bridal garland! White rose bridal garland!"

And he was like, "Oh. Really? Are we really... having that?" in a strained voice. Sometimes he just doesn't see my vision. And he often doesn't know when I am kidding. Not kidding, Mr. G.! NOT. KIDDING.

drying my tears with the pages of a book

Last week I cried nearly every time I thought about the wedding. It started with a fairly benign if slightly pushy email from the best man, which G. forwarded to me. It continued with a discussion between me and my supremely supportive MOH regarding bridesmaids' shoes. The reason I didn't cry these two times is because I was at work, and I have a no crying at work policy, which has only been broken once when I was a waittress and someone stole $80 off a table of mine, which I then had to pay myself.

Anyhow.

Finally, on Sunday, I did cry, and that was because I was having a nice day at home alone with G. and I had the time and space. I heard once, I think on Oprah, that people tend to cry when they feel safe. Interesting!

I realized that I am having some very mixed feelings about the wedding, which could be identified as below:

1.) I am pretty Type B, meaning I don't care if stuff is perfect, I just want it to be good.
2.) Although most brides are obsessed with details, there are a lot of details about which I really don't give a fig, such as bridesmaids' shoes.
3.) I have difficulty comprimising, if I am not the person who suggested comprimise.
4.) I hate being told that I have to do something, or made to feel like I don't have a choice.
5.) Even though I am Type B, I do worry about the pressure to have a totally awesome wedding that is creative and original and totally expresses exactly what G. and I are about.
6.) I worry about spending too much money.
7.) I worry about feeling/acting/appearing greedy.

I think this may have been bridal meltdown #1. Of how many, we'll see.

I went straight to my local bookstore that I love, McNally Jackson Books. I bought two books that I hope would bring me back from the edge, and so far so good.

The first is Altared (edited by Colleen Curran) has a very satisfying picture of a bride in a fabulous dress tearing her hair out. The book is a collection of essays about the tumult of wedding planning, and are decidedly not of the fairy-tale wedding variety. They are honest and touching and made me feel better. I especially liked Amy Sohn's and Dani Shapiro's essays.

I also bought Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides (Ariel Meadow Stallings). I haven't started it yet, but I read the Offbeat Bride blog and although I am not a goth or Ren-Fair bride, I appreciate the blog's committment to freedom and indepence and feeling like you can get away from the Knot if you want.

Having finished Altared, I am already feeling a lot better. I can't wait to start the Offbeat Bride book. I also feel a lot better being honest that I don't give a rat's ass about bridesmaids' shoes! It's the dirty truth.

Make Me Up

I saw this article in the Times last week about Laura Luke, the Youtube makeup tutorial phenomenon. I had never heard of her before, but spent some time today watching a Twilight-inspired (yes!) makeup tutorial. Her accent is cute, her work is good, and she saved a little time at the end to show off her dogs. I can relate to that!
I am still going back and forth on whether I am going to hire someone to do my makeup. My friend M. had her photographer friendor also do her makeup (talk about multi-tasking!), and the photographer/makeup artist had learned everything she knows on Youtube! I am thinking maybe I can study up for the next four months and do some totally awesome, perhaps Twilight-inspired makeup for my wedding day. I really like the idea of doing it myself rather than hiring someone, if I can do a good job.

As a sidenote, my same friend M. works in women's media and gets tons of free stuff. I had dinner with her (+ another friend and the friendor photographer/makeup artist) the other night, and she brought us each a tube of lipstick. I felt like it was some kind of bizarre Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment, because each of us chose one that looked fantastic on us. I myself got Estee Lauder's #67 Plum Amethyst, and I have to say: I think I found my wedding lipstick! Thanks, M.!

Walls Guestbook

I have to hijack a post from Brooklyn Bride for you:

The "Walls" Guestbook!

I went to two weddings this summer that had totally awesome guest-photography guest books. One involved a rented Polaroid camera, and the other a photobooth. As much as I loved that stuff, now I feel like I have to think of my own thing for the guest book (or, rather, let the blogs think of it for me). So I saw the wall book on Brooklyn Bride today and thought, ah-ha!

I love the graffiti element of it. I have been interested in graffiti since being introduced to it by a high school boyfriend. (He even professed his love for me in Krylon on my parents' basement wall!) In graduate school for art history, I tried to write a paper about graffiti, treating it as a serious movement. I say "try" because my conservative professors were decidedly not down. But that is a story for another time.

Anyhow, I think this is totally great, and it's only $16 by the way, which I was very happy to learn. Anyone else out there have some good guest book idea? Part of me still really wants to do the Polaroid thing, but I feel like that would be weird.

dramarama update!

I just learned that Jill & Kevin of the "JK Wedding Entrance Dance" have started a website, in which they are raising money to fight domestic violence.

The dance that they used for their ceremony entrance was by Chris Brown, who we all know beat up Rihanna the night of the Grammys. I have been following this story closely, and have very mixed feelings about the coverage it's gotten. I believe that the controversial picture of her battered face really brought home the serious and physical damage that this kind of battering causes. On the other hand, although I think the picture helped bring domestic violence out of the realm of the abstract for people who have not experienced it, I worry that it is a violation of Rihanna's privacy.
But we could argue about this all day.

What I was most upset by was the outpouring of support, not for Rihanna, but for Chris Brown! Overwhelmingly, (mostly male) celebrities let Brown off the hook with a "boys will be boys" excuse. I even heard many people repeat Brown's claim that Rihanna's island background caused her to be feisty, and that she was asking for it. Racist and sexist.

I have deleted Brown's songs from my iPod (I always liked Ne-Yo better anyhow) and have hoped that he will do some serious and penance for his actions.

For these reasons, I was thrilled that Jill and Kevin are working to use their 15 minutes of fame to help the cause of domestic violence. (Turns out Jill is studying domestic violence in her Ph.D. program!)

Major snaps to these guys. Seriously.

(Also, I can't help it: this is totally on a lighter note, but the website also has a picture of Jill & Kevin's wedding party, and I love Jill's BM dresses!)