Wedding Blitz

G. and I just got back from our third wedding in four weeks. Man, weddings are exhausting, even if you're just a guest! This one was in VT, and largely outdoors, though there was a rain contingency plan. Luckily, there was no rain!

I am not sure that I learned very much from this wedding, as it was a rural, outdoor, summer wedding, and we're having an indoor, nighttime, urban wedding.

One thing I did learn, however, was to definitely play "Like a Prayer." The DJ was awesome, and the crowd went nuts!

Here are some details that I particularly loved:
1.) The bride wore a 1930s slip that she had converted into a dress, and it was absolutely exquisite!
2.) For the reception, she changed into a 1950s prom dress (lots of tulle!) that had a baby blue crinoline. Best of all, were her baby blue, patent leather Vivienne Westwood slingbacks that were named after her!
3) The bride and groom made a last minute change to their first dance selection: the original pick of a Beatles song was replaced by Jackson 5 "I'll Be There." Very timely, and I may have shed a tear. (I also love the Mariah Carey version.)
4.) The ceremony music was bluegrass. Loved it!
5.) The bride didn't decide a thing about her hair and makeup beforehand -- an irony that I love as her career is with women's magazines. She tried a few things before the ceremony, picked what she liked, and it was done. I really admire that relaxed approach. She looked relaxed! And lovely.
6.) She made excellent use of "friendors." The photographer was a friend from college. The photographer also doubled as the hair and makeup artist... having learned a few tricks of the trade from YouTube tutorials!

All in all, it was a lovely weekend. Are any of you in a wedding blitz this summer?

"Like my homey D.O.C. - no one can do it better"

The acronym D.O.C. always reminds me of "Nuthin but a G Thang" from Dr. Dre's The Chronic. Anyone out there remember? Anyone? Anyhow. Yeah. Nothing to do with day-of-coordinators, but in a Pavlovian way, that line always pops into my head when people talk about the D.O.C. Which they have done a lot lately! So I'll weigh in, since we are taking a little bit of a different, dare I say experimental route.

We're neither having one nor not-having one. What we're doing is asking our friend C., who is an attorney by day and a four-year-married-but-still-wedding-obsessed-wannabe-planner by night. So! At first I didn't really "get" the D.O.C. thing. I thought they were for people who were more control-freaky and less careful with their money than me. Foolish, I know. I have learned the error of my ways.

But I still wasn't sure I wanted to pay for one. My folks and I had already worked out a budget, and this just wasn't really in it.

On the other hand, my mom -- who is super Type A -- has been going gangbusters this whole time. I was beginning to imagine her totally blowing a fuse on the day-of, trying to get everything coordinated.

I suggested to her the idea of asking C. to do it, and paying her a small fee (basically enough for a nice dinner out with her husband). My mom was really relieved and totally into it.

We wouldn't ask C. to do all the things that D.O.C.s do, like checking in with vendors and stuff. But I figured that since catering comes with the venue, and we're probably not hiring a DJ, and we're on the fence about a florist, we don't have so, so many vendors. I do need someone, however, to tell the musicians when to play, when I should walk, when toasts need to start (since we're not having a DJ), to make sure the ushers know what's going on, to keep my mom sane, all that.

I knew G. would be nervous about this idea and think we were imposing on a friend who expected to be a guest. But I have learned that people want to help. Especially people who are obsessed with weddings! When I asked C., she accepted before I even got the whole question out. I assured her that she would still be a guest and we'd end her duties ASAP once things got cooking. She didn't care, she was on board!

So, we'll see. Maybe I'll be able to convince C. to quit her dayjob and then I can be her first reference and all of y'all can hire her!

Enter Xanax

This weekend we went out to Long Island to help celebrate the marriage of our very good friends, P. and S. My fiance was a groomsman, and they are very special to us, so I think we both felt invested in the entire event in a way that neither of us really had at other weddings. Frankly, we were super f'ing excited!

This is the 2nd of three weddings that I'll attend in the time between my engagement and my own wedding. I keep thinking I'll bring along a little notebook or something to jot down ideas, must-dos or must-don'ts (yipes). But I never do, of course, because I am getting ready, late, trying to fit a bunch of crap in a tiny purse and am for sure prioritizing the camera and lip gloss over the pen and notebook.

That said, I have also found that I remember the must-dos and must-don'ts without even writing them down.

Here are a list of three things that I learned at the exquisite and joyful celebration that I was a part of this weekend:

1.) Definitely DO play "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)" by Bruce Springsteen during the reception.
2.) Definitely DON'T have any D.I.Y. projects that involve tying 175 tiny bows by yourself two days before the wedding.
3.) Definitely DO have a Plan B if you hire a god-forsaken bus company to transport 50 of your guests -- including the groom's parents and old ladies visiting from Ireland -- 20 miles to the ceremony.

Curious? Ok, here is what happened:

Everyone was waiting in the lobby of the Marriott for the bus, which was 40 minutes late. It turned out the bus was 40 minutes late because it was sitting in the parking lot on the other side of the hotel. We all piled in, and the bus smelled like a delectable combination of fish and pee. Then, we get going and it stalls out twice in the parking lot.

(oh-- here's number 4, a life lesson: 4.) trust your instincts to go get your car when you're in a bus that stalls out twice within 50 feet.)

We made it about a mile before a final shudder and stomach-turning "click" of the A/C turning off indicated that the bus had died.

I'd like to say we all piled off, but we didn't. We sat in the fishy, uriney heat until some people in the front meandered off, then the people in the middle, and aw, hell, let's all get off.

Since my fiance was in the wedding party, I was traveling with a girlfriend whose husband was also a groomsman. We made quick friends with a federal prosecutor and his lawyer wife from Miami, who regaled us with stories of the drug and porn industries for the better part of an hour and a half.

Solutions were slow to come, and we all stood on the side of the highway on Long Island, outside a Cheesesteak Factory. Eventually, an ice cream truck pulled up, and a few people got ice cream, including the completely good-for-nothing bus driver, who retired back to his seat to enjoy his ice cream while the rest of us worked the phones and tried to think of new ways to say "chin up, it could totally be worse!" to the groom's mother.

Eventually, a guy in an SUV pulled over to see what was the trouble. He offered to take the groom's parents to the church, and they accepted (even in the light of a bunch of axe murderer jokes coming from one of the guests). Next, the wedding planner sent a 20-seat limo, which took away the rest of the old ladies, people who had traveled from abroad, and anyone speaking at the wedding. Finally, a fleet of 5 cabs turned up and we piled into one of them, and arrived at the ceremony about halfway through.

It had been postponed about an hour, but finally they couldn't wait anymore. The priest was just beginning the homily when my friend and I arrived, and we were just in time for the vows that followed.

Standing on the side of the road wasn't actually that bad, aside from the wind which kept blowing my chiffon skirt every which way. Well, that and the fact that just looking at the groom's mother, and thinking about the stress the bride and groom must have been feeling, totally almost put me over the edge. But it was a cool, sunny day, and I met some nice people, so all in all it wasn't that bad. Nevertheless, I was a wreck by the time we got there. The drama and anxiety, combined with a wicked hangover from the rehearsal dinner, and I was a basketcase. I took one look at my friend in her gorgeous dress and veil and burst into tears. (I've never cried at a wedding before!).

But I have to tell you, it was serious high drama. It totally sucked for about an hour and a half. But once we got to the reception (and the groom's father had his Jameson's) everything was totally fine. It was wonderful. I wouldn't say the Great Bus Incident of 2009 is a funny story yet, but I am sure it will be one day, because it was a beautiful wedding, two people I love very much are joined in marriage, and we all had a total blast.

Still -- good to have a Plan B for your transportation.