Enter Xanax

This weekend we went out to Long Island to help celebrate the marriage of our very good friends, P. and S. My fiance was a groomsman, and they are very special to us, so I think we both felt invested in the entire event in a way that neither of us really had at other weddings. Frankly, we were super f'ing excited!

This is the 2nd of three weddings that I'll attend in the time between my engagement and my own wedding. I keep thinking I'll bring along a little notebook or something to jot down ideas, must-dos or must-don'ts (yipes). But I never do, of course, because I am getting ready, late, trying to fit a bunch of crap in a tiny purse and am for sure prioritizing the camera and lip gloss over the pen and notebook.

That said, I have also found that I remember the must-dos and must-don'ts without even writing them down.

Here are a list of three things that I learned at the exquisite and joyful celebration that I was a part of this weekend:

1.) Definitely DO play "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)" by Bruce Springsteen during the reception.
2.) Definitely DON'T have any D.I.Y. projects that involve tying 175 tiny bows by yourself two days before the wedding.
3.) Definitely DO have a Plan B if you hire a god-forsaken bus company to transport 50 of your guests -- including the groom's parents and old ladies visiting from Ireland -- 20 miles to the ceremony.

Curious? Ok, here is what happened:

Everyone was waiting in the lobby of the Marriott for the bus, which was 40 minutes late. It turned out the bus was 40 minutes late because it was sitting in the parking lot on the other side of the hotel. We all piled in, and the bus smelled like a delectable combination of fish and pee. Then, we get going and it stalls out twice in the parking lot.

(oh-- here's number 4, a life lesson: 4.) trust your instincts to go get your car when you're in a bus that stalls out twice within 50 feet.)

We made it about a mile before a final shudder and stomach-turning "click" of the A/C turning off indicated that the bus had died.

I'd like to say we all piled off, but we didn't. We sat in the fishy, uriney heat until some people in the front meandered off, then the people in the middle, and aw, hell, let's all get off.

Since my fiance was in the wedding party, I was traveling with a girlfriend whose husband was also a groomsman. We made quick friends with a federal prosecutor and his lawyer wife from Miami, who regaled us with stories of the drug and porn industries for the better part of an hour and a half.

Solutions were slow to come, and we all stood on the side of the highway on Long Island, outside a Cheesesteak Factory. Eventually, an ice cream truck pulled up, and a few people got ice cream, including the completely good-for-nothing bus driver, who retired back to his seat to enjoy his ice cream while the rest of us worked the phones and tried to think of new ways to say "chin up, it could totally be worse!" to the groom's mother.

Eventually, a guy in an SUV pulled over to see what was the trouble. He offered to take the groom's parents to the church, and they accepted (even in the light of a bunch of axe murderer jokes coming from one of the guests). Next, the wedding planner sent a 20-seat limo, which took away the rest of the old ladies, people who had traveled from abroad, and anyone speaking at the wedding. Finally, a fleet of 5 cabs turned up and we piled into one of them, and arrived at the ceremony about halfway through.

It had been postponed about an hour, but finally they couldn't wait anymore. The priest was just beginning the homily when my friend and I arrived, and we were just in time for the vows that followed.

Standing on the side of the road wasn't actually that bad, aside from the wind which kept blowing my chiffon skirt every which way. Well, that and the fact that just looking at the groom's mother, and thinking about the stress the bride and groom must have been feeling, totally almost put me over the edge. But it was a cool, sunny day, and I met some nice people, so all in all it wasn't that bad. Nevertheless, I was a wreck by the time we got there. The drama and anxiety, combined with a wicked hangover from the rehearsal dinner, and I was a basketcase. I took one look at my friend in her gorgeous dress and veil and burst into tears. (I've never cried at a wedding before!).

But I have to tell you, it was serious high drama. It totally sucked for about an hour and a half. But once we got to the reception (and the groom's father had his Jameson's) everything was totally fine. It was wonderful. I wouldn't say the Great Bus Incident of 2009 is a funny story yet, but I am sure it will be one day, because it was a beautiful wedding, two people I love very much are joined in marriage, and we all had a total blast.

Still -- good to have a Plan B for your transportation.