the wedding party - headache part 1

I had thought a lot about my wedding party before I got engaged. We even talked about it a bit, during that weird period where we knew we were going to get engaged, but it hadn't happened yet (more on that later, yeesh). So, like a lot of other stuff I had it all wrapped up, in the bag, whatever, before we were even engaged.

Then things changed.

I have this best friend A., who I have been like peas and carrots with since we were 14.

We met when I complimented her on her nailpolish and Hypercolor shirt (this was the early 90s, ok? You young folks can go ahead and Google "Hypercolor!").

We fell in love when I came over to her house for a sleepover and did my spot-on Axl Rose impression, swaying all over the dang place to "Patience."

We have had some serious ups and downs over the years, but that's how things go in long-term relationships. Lately, we've really been mostly having ups. Then I told her I had gotten engaged (after two days of trying to get her on the phone). She acted like I told her what I had for lunch that day.

We talked again two weeks later, for her birthday, no mention of my engagement. I didn't see her or talk to her for months, and we had a very tense dinner about a week ago. For whatever reason, she is not at all interested in the fact that I am getting married.

Now, I am not one to bash people over the head with my wedding. I am not all me-me-me. It's not like I am being all annoying about it. She hasn't even given me a chance to be annoying!

There's a lot more I could say about this, but I'll spare you the gory details. I know a lot of us have gone through similar things, and Miss Cloud posted a wonderful and honest post about it.

My and A.'s relationship is complicated, and it can be complicated when people get engaged. It can bring up insecurities, sadness, lonlieness, envy, all sorts of feelings. I know all this. Yet I thought for sure A. was going to be a bridesmaid. I had never imagined another possibility.

But obviously, if she wasn't the slightest bit interested in my wedding (for whatever reason), I wasn't going to have her be in the wedding.

Oh, snap. Now what to do? Well, for one, stay tuned!