Wednesday, July 8, 2009

the wedding party - part 2

So, last we spoke, I was telling you how I was a bit bent out of shape how my BFF didn't seem to give a rip that I am getting married, and I was reconsidering my wedding party.

This is what I had in place: I knew I wanted my sister-from-another-mother to be my maid of honor. A.T. and I had grown up together, known each other since we were in utero. Our mothers are friends, our families vacation together, do Thanksgiving together. She is more than a friend, she is a given in my life. She is also an event-planner (helpful!) incredibly energetic, and organized. The perfect MOH. She started acting like an MOH even before I asked her, planning my shower about 45 minutes into my engagement.

Then I knew I wanted my very good friend B. to be my "bridesdude." B. is a friend of mine from work. We shared a cubicle for 5 years, and talked like girlfriends. You know. We've been through a lot together: the Bush administration, the Mets, my meeting G., the birth of his son.

B. is one of those guys who plastered his cubby with pictures of his wife and sons. His family was first on his mind all the time. I really admired B.'s marriage, his family life. We had talked about my relationship a lot, and he gave me a lot of good an unique insight ("marriage is easy!"). I consider B. my "marriage mentor" and I knew I wanted him to stand up with me.

We knew we wanted to have a small-ish wedding party, so I was limiting it to three. Since the debacle with A., I had a third spot to fill.

This was tough. I considered some people who were part of a larger group of friends, and decided I didn't want anyone to feel left out. I considered one girl who was my best friend in college, but we were working on repairing our relationship from a falling-out and I wasn't sure she was ready. (We're great now, and she's doing a reading.) I considered a very new friend I have, because she has been totally supportive, and I thought it might be a fun bonding thing to have a really new friend stand up with me.

Ultimately, I decided on my wonderful friend L., who was my other college BFF. She lives in San Francisco, which is maddeningly far away from me. To be honest, L. and I struggle with staying in touch. The time difference is a bear, and we're both wicked busy (like everyone). We love each other though, and are determined to keep our friendship alive.

L. is someone who always makes me laugh, who relaxes me and makes me feel good and happy. She is someone with whom I can quote Austin Powers with for the 9 millionth time and crack up. I decided I needed someone up there who will chill me out and make me feel happy. That is what L. does, and she is awesome.

So that's the wedding party. The issues with A. are unresolved. I don't know what will happen. We sent the save the dates out yesterday, and I bet she got hers today. I wonder what she'll think. It will be interesting to see how this progresses, and I'll be sure to keep you updated on late-breaking news.

How did you choose your wedding party?

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